Aztec Diet Day 6: Delicately Put

Stats: up 1 pound. Net loss: 6 pounds Waist: lost 1″ Total loss: 2.5″

Breakfast: Dr. Bob’s Kale Blueberry Smoothie* Lunch: Chocolate Covered Cherry with avocado Snack: 1 cup cottage cheese Dinner: Carmen Miranda Snack: air-popped popcorn

Up a pound? But down an inch? How does this happen?

I didn’t cheat! I swear! But I have not been drinking enough water between smoothies. And that creates a problem. I’m . . . er . . . well, jammed up. Not a polite subject for public conversation, but for those of you who are doing this diet, it must be discussed.

All that chia needs lots of water to absorb and move it along. So yesterday’s wastes are now lurking like a beached barge in my belly. Along with those from the day before. This could be resolved by a quick trip to the drug store. Or, I could use Stanley Burrough’s solution from The Master Cleanser.

I don’t like to post other people’s stuff, since they worked hard to develop it and you should buy their books. Which is why I’m only posting my own recipes, and not Dr. Bob’s go-to Kale Blueberry Smoothie* that everyone keeps Googling. However, in the interest of public health, I’ll make this exception.

For constipation during a cleanse, Burroughs recommends an internal salt water bath that washes your entire digestive tract. This is very non-invasive, unlike enemas and colonics. When you first get up (I recommend setting your alarm clock one hour before your usual wake up time for this) add two level teaspoons of non-iodized sea salt to 1 quart lukewarm water and drink it all down at once. Do this on an empty stomach. Hang around; it will wash right through you. In an hour or so, you should see relief. If you don’t, you may need to adjust the salt:water ratio slightly. If you have any herbal laxative tea, drinking some the night before will help.

And if nothing happens today, I’m going to do this. First thing. Tomorrow.

Meanwhile, I went back to The Aztec Diet and re-read the first 6 chapters. It doesn’t mention hydration at all during Phase I. I checked the index. only one listing for water. It refers to drinking a glass of water before and after meals during Phase II. I’m thinking this would be a good habit to adopt during Phase I.

My social life has been suffering since I started this. Whenever I get together with my friends, it’s always around food. This week I turned down a Wednesday dinner invite with Anna and Pat. Angie didn’t bother to call about our usual Thursday lunch get-together because she knew about my diet. This evening, I am trying something different. Anna reserved Looper at Redbox and I will be bringing my own smoothie ingredients, along with some air-popped popcorn. Thank God she is not making Chinese ribs tonight. I am only strong, not impervious.

Carmen Miranda
1/4 Cup cashews (raw, if you can find them)
1 banana
1/2 Cup frozen tropical smoothie blend (pineapple, mango, strawberry)
1 large handful of spinach
2 TBSP ground chia seed

*Here is an url to Dr. Bob demonstrating his go-to Blueberry/Kale Smoothie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjwSVS4sOf8

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